Swimming
with Dolphins...
- a report on the 1999 Aisling Trip
by Alex McDonnell
Alex McDonnell is a founder member of the Aisling Return to
Ireland Project. This year the project took 22 long-term emigrants to Louisburgh
in Co. Mayo for week long rehabilitative holiday. The migrants were accompanied
by eight support workers - from Bridge Housing Association, The London Irish
Centre, Brent Community Alcohol Service and Cricklewood Homeless Concern.
Saturday 28 August
We leave Arlington House after the usual last minute drop-outs
and drop-ins causing some delay. Gerry is up at 7.00 am, surprisingly, with
his case packed and ready to go. Myself and Joe leave him on his way to the
toilet and continue around the house knocking up the last few stragglers. By
the time we make it downstairs to reception Gerry is gone. Probably in search
of an early off-licence. By eight o'clock we have looked for him everywhere
and are already late so Martin, who is hanging around in the hope of a cancellation
is given Gerry's seat on the bus and we head up Camden Road for the Irish Centre.
Joe and Peter follow behind with the chuck wagon loaded up with food and supplies
for the week.
On Murray street, outside the London Irish Centre, our little army of
returnees from Camden, Cricklewood and Kilburn, and helpers, is gathered thirty
strong. We are loaded up and on the road by 8.30am. Joe has news of Gerry who
he has met on the way. Gerry does not feel well enough for the journey but he
will phone us in Louisburgh to wish us all the best.
On the M 1 and M6 all goes well until Birmingham where we get tangled
up in Spaghetti iunction. There are further delays on the A5 M56 and A55 where
bank holiday traiffic has slowed everything down to a crawl and by 2.OOpm all
three vehicles are spread out all over north Wales.
The ferry is at 3.45pm and we keep in nervous contact over
mobile phones. The bus I am in is Brent Community Transport's finest, one half
of a pair and named `Jerry', and we arrive first at the ferry terminal at 3.30pm.
Just as I hand the tickets over to the attendant a phone rings in her booth.
She listens and says a few words into the receiver, then turns to me and says
'Sorry the gate has closed'. We have missed the boat.
We park up and as we are going into the train terminal building to change
the tickets for the next sailin, I walk into two of the men from Arlington House.
How did they get to the station before me'? All of the other passengers are
behind me. What's going on'? And then I remember. thev weren't on the bus with
us at all. It turns out that they were in Holyhead for a couple of davs holiday
and are on their way back on the boat-train. One of the men has always been
known as `Holyhead Tommy' and now I know why. The other mini-bus and the chuck
wagon arrive in the next few minutes and we all settle down to wait for the
next sailing.
It is a beautiful day and no-one is too much bothered bv the delay. Some
have waited twenty, thirty, even forty vears to cross the Irish sea and a few
more hours won't do any harm. The next ferry is a fast service and we make the
crossing in under two hours, followed the whole way by a huge orange harvest
moon. We arrive at the Emmaus House just past the fifth (!) roundabout for Swords
on the NI1 north of Dublin. Andy and Peter, two Oblates missionaries help us
sort out the rooms for thirty nervous. excited and tired returnees. We sleep
soundly.
Sunday 29 August
Wake up rested and go down for breakfast. Everyone is already
up. The first thing I notice in the dining room is - no knives and forks, so
no cooked breakfast. Instead we eat loads of toast and bread and marmalade.
We won't have a chance to eat another meal until we arrive in Louisburgh. I
phone Ardal O'Hanlon, who is the patron of Aisling and does lots of work to
raise money for the project. He comes over from Blackrock to meet us and spends
some time with the returnees, chatting, answering questions ( mostly about Father
Ted) and having his photograph taken. We arrange to meet up in London to organise
next years funding. We talk about ways of developing a permanent base in Ireland
for Aisling where long term emigrants can return more often, for longer periods
or for good. Ardal has to pick up his wife and two-day-old baby girl from the
hospital so we say our farewells and best wishes to his family and set off for
Mayo on the N5.
For many of the returnees the new roads are probably the most noticeable changes
in newly prosperous Ireland, as well as the new houses and buildings going up
all over the country. Most of the men have worked building the motorways in
England and the road to Mayo is a third of the width of the M6 in England for
most of the journey, but it is a pleasure to drive on, with no hold ups or traffic
jams, and small towns, mountains, fields and lakes to look at. For those who
have not been home for many years it is a reminder of what they have been missing
in all their city-bound days in Kilburn and Camden Town.
We arrive in Louisburgh around 3.30pm. The town also looks prosperous
with newly tarmaced streets and newly painted houses, shops and pubs. There
are restaurants and other tourist friendly attractions. A lot of this is due
to the Louisburgh community council who built the Louisburgh holiday cottages
20 years ago to bring tourists into the area and have not looked back since.
The town has continued to develop and expand. Two new estates of houses are
currently being built in the town. The downside is that they are being bought
as second and retirement homes by British and European immigrants and Dubliners.
Local people can't afford to live in their own town. Figures were announced
this week by the Irish government that net immigration into Ireland was 40,000
for last year, a complete reversal of the situation ten years ago when the same
amount were arriving in Britain during the eighties emigration boom.
We have six of the ten cottages on the site and swiftly organise everyone into
households. We have two womens houses, one dry house and three assorted mens
houses. Peter, our chef from Arlington House, prepared a box for each house
containing tea, coffee, milk, bread, sugar, breakfast foods and other essentials,
as well as an evening meal which just needs to be heated up. Over the next few
days Peter will go to each house with fresh food and help organise meals for
each evening and packed lunehes for day trips. The houses are based on the local
traditional farmhouse with a kitchen/sitting room with an open fire, stone flagged
floors and a loft upstairs. They are attractive, functional and comfortable
and we won't want to leave when the time comes. According to guide books, a
few miles from the town is Silver Strand, the third finest beach in Europe -
but we can't find it, so John, a Mayo man from Ballina, who is an outreach worker
with homeless people in London, takes a group half a mile to the nearest beach
for a swim in the freezing cold Atlantic. A few brave souls go in with him but
most of us are happy to watch.
Later we go to town and, as it a Sunday, the locals were out in force
and the pubs are packed. There are five pubs in a row and there is music in
two of them and our group spreads out between the two. Pauline from Antrim who
works for Cricklewood Homeless Concern, is persuaded to sing a few songs and
after she does the whole pub stands up to roar their approval.
Monday 30 August
We all sleep well again. This morning the various houses organise
their own breakfasts. We have no plans to go anywhere today as we think everyone
should have a chance to get settled in and relax a bit. It has been a long couple
of days so far and now we are here we may as well enjoy the local scenery and
get to know the place. We will tackle Croagh Patrick another day.
Although we had been out late in the pub the night before no-one seems
to be feeling any serious ill effects this morning. This is our sixth Aisling
trip so far and many of the people we bring away with us have a had an unfortunate
relationship with alcohol over the years and for some their homelessness may
be related to their drinking. The street drinking scene in London includes a
large percentage of Irish people whose health has been seriously affected by
years of drinking super strength beers or ciders. A lot of people who would
have worked hard during the day, drank in pubs in the evenings and enjoyed their
social life, have had their lives shattered in later years by their dependency
on alcohol. Aisling doesn't advocate abstinence but we present the returnees
with the alternative of a healthier lifestyle in their home country and ironically
that includes going to where Irish social life is centred, the pub. And it works,
already people are looking better and happier than they have in years.
Even after one day we are now well known in Louisburgh. One of the local
shopkeepers gives Peter a box of biscuits for each of the houses, some
of our people are regulars in the pubs and when Bill is found wandering,
a bit lost, the locals contact Eleanor at the holiday cottage and we go
out to collect him. In the afternoon we go to Westport for a few hours
and stop on the way at the eerily beautiful famine memorial, in the form
of a coffin ship, at Murrisk in the shade of Croagh Patrick. John gives
us all an impromptu talk on the effects of the famine on the people of
the local area. Later, after dinner we go back down to Murrisk to see
the old abbey which was destroyed in the 16th century, stumbling around
in the ruins and having the craic in the moonlight. On the way back, we
stop off at the Bunowen Arms and Eamon reveals that this is the first
time he has been in a pub in two years although he has drank from cans
on the streets for years. After the pub a crowd of us end up in one of
the women's houses where Hannah makes tea and Mary keeps us in stitches
with her yarns and we tell stories and sing badly.
Tuesday 3lst August
Today most of the group drive off to Achill island. I stay
behind to organise a few things and write up this diary. So many things that
happen, or are said, seem unimportant at the time and they may not be appreciated
and so can be easily forgotten. I need to keep up to date. I was thinking yesterday
about our group and their relationship with alcohol and the effects of alcohol
on their behaviour. A lot of the time our behaviour with alcohol will be so
different to our sober behaviour and we see lots of changes in peoples character
when they stop or slow down their drinking.
Not all of the group are problem drinkers and some are tee-total but
the drinkers tend to drink excessively when they are in London. We have to be
careful that the they don't withdraw too quickly and go into seizures or fits.
Charlie our nurse, makes sure she has a few cans in her bag for such emergencies.
Usually that would happen in the first day or two but could occur up to five
days later. So far, just about all of the street/heavy drinkers who are with
us are now drinking very little compared to their normal intake and they are
noticeably healthier and more alert. If you were to say to any of the professional
alcohol workers in detox units and rehabs that such chronic drinkers were weaned
off alcohol more or less instantaneously without medication and with no ill
effects, they would not believe it. But it works in the context of Aisling and
I think that the supportive environment and open, non-authoritarian regime helps.
A few years ago on the first Aisling trip we visited a rehab place in Limerick
and were shocked at the strict authoritarianism and the spartan, soulless conditions.
People were going into that place for 2-3 months of punishment and heading straight
for the nearest pub or off licence on the way out. The pub at the bottom of
the lane did great business.
The Bunowen Arms which has become our local pub is doing great business
this week as well. Tonight Sean Hegarty is playing. John, our driver/historian/spiritual
guide was in one of the local shops earlier today and overheard another customer
and recognised the voice. It turned out to be this man Sean Hegarty who John
was at school with and had not seen since they both sat the leaving cert 32
years ago, and he is playing tonight in the pub. When our crowd is there the
pub is half full; so tonight, with the locals out in force it is packed. Late
in the evening there is an open microphone spot and another John from our party,
who is home for the first time in 35 years, gives a recitation about a horse
called Finn McCool that has the place jumping. We make friends with Tim and
Marina, a couple from Salisbury who, with Reilly their dog, are camping down
at the beach. They play a few tunes and we invite them down to our place.
By now, one of the women's houses has become the social centre of the
group which is mainly down to our `ban na tighe' Mary. Her constant stream of
stories, tea and good-natured abuse keeps the party rolling. It's after five
when we get to bed and we have another big day tomorrow.
Wednesday 1 September
Today we take a trip to Knock. As well as being the scene
of a famous apparition by Our Lady and an international airport, Knock also
has the distinction of being the home town of our very own Mary. Mary was baptised
and married in the small church at Knock, which now stands in front of the monstrous
basilica. Shortly after her wedding to Tom in the church, Mary left, never to
return. As she said herself, `the Virgin Mary appeared at Knock and Tom and
Mary disappeared at Knock'. Mary's reappearance causes almost as much fuss as
the original visitation as she goes about town meeting old friends. Mary revealed
later that she was afraid of going back and was disturbed by the changes to
the town, but was glad that she had done so. It takes a lot of courage but she
is rewarded by the sure knowledge that she is loved and thought of with great
affection in the town.
Peter, who had not been in Ireland since 1959 - until an Aisling trip
a few years ago - now volunteers on the project and helps out by keeping the
mini-buses in spotless condition. Peter had some bad experiences being brought
up by nuns and brothers in institutions around Dublin, now gets a small bit
of revenge by poking fun at religion in his own funny and gentle way. Today
in Knock he is on fertile ground and shortly after arriving meets a nun at one
of the many religious souvenir shops. He tells her that he would like to be
a nun for the day and would she lend him her habit, that he might get more respect
dressed that way. He tries this out on other priests and nuns in the town without
any success.
This evening Ian and Tom, reporter and photographer from the Independent
newspaper in London arrive. They will be staying with us for the next few days,
putting together a story about the project and will be meeting with the workers,
volunteers and returnees.
Thursday 2 September
For the last week I have been in daily contact with Gemma,
a producer on the Pat Kenny show at RTE radio, organising an appearance we will
be making on the show this morning. Four of the group will be on the show and
I have been phoning in background details to help prepare the programme from
a phone in Louisburgh - our mobile phones don't work in Ireland. The broadcast
is from Dublin but our bit will be linked up from the RTE studio in Castlebar
from 10.30am and I need to ring again to confirm the arrangements this morning.
Billy will be meeting his sister today who hasn't seen for many years. Last
night he met an old friend for the first time in over thirty years and word
has got around that he is back in Mayo and we wanted him on the show this morning,
but he is nervous about it. John who is visiting a friend in Ballyvarry for
the first time in 35 years will substitute for him, so we need to pick him up
on the way. Inevitably we are late getting going and the number I have at RTE
is engaged so we head off hoping to find a phone on the way. The only phones
we do pass are occupied or not working and when we arrive in Castlebar we spend
valuable minutes looking for the studio, as no-one in Castlebar seems to know
the address.
By the time we arrive at the studio, Gemma has phoned Mary the technician several
times in a panic. I ring her in Dublin at last and we quickly organise everyone
in rotation around two studio mics. John will go first to give the background
to Aisling and this years trip, followed by Joe who is our chair and who will
talk about his experiences as a returnee with Aisling and his volunteering with
the project since. Then Mary and John will talk about their own experiences
of this years trip, their time in London and the changes in the country since
they left. It goes very well, Mary and John the returnees are particularly moving.
The other John sums up, appealing for recognition by the Irish at home for the
contribution made by the emigrant Irish to their homeland. He also asks for
recognition of those emigrants whose experience of emigration has not always
been positive and who would like to return home either for a break or to live.
Gemma in Dublin gives us names and contacts for people who have called
the studio for help with tracing relatives and with promises of help for the
project. One other less welcome call comes through to the Castlebar studio from
a man who at first seems to be offering us use of some cottages in Roundstone.
I am standing next to John as he takes the call and we all get excited until
it turns out the houses have no roofs and he expects our people to repair them
and that we can do a deal on the price. Some people are always looking to cut
a deal. When we get back to the mini-bus John from Aisling's sister is waiting.
She was passing and thought that the bus must have something to do her brother.
So, another unexpected reunion
. After we get back to Louisburgh we decide to take a trip to Connemara.
We drive down through Leenane to Kylemore Abbey, past lakes and through mountain
passes, with mist rolling in and the low lying clouds breaking across the mountains,
casting moving shadows. It is the best kind of weather for the west of Ireland.
As we are coming back we go searching for the Silver Strand and find it at the
bottom of an overgrown borreen, the most amazing stretch of beach with high
rolling waves coming in at split second intervals. The light across the bay
is astonishing and constantly changing. We pull off our shoes and socks and
run for the water. Tom, the Independent photographer is stunned and reaches
for his camera. He has his picture for the paper.
That evening we have a visit from a couple from Westport. A relative went missing
some years ago and seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. From
the description of one of our men seen in Louisburgh, he could fit the bill.
Our man's background is known to us but we offer to have his photograph and
details circulated in London around the homeless projects.
Dearbhla from the London Irish centre is meeting her parents who are
down from Lietrim for the night. A nun from the local area working in Uganda
is having a benefit dance in the town and so we all go along to give our support.
During the evening the doors of the pub are locked and some of us are stuck
outside. We knock on the door to get back in but the barman refuses until the
town drunk has weaved his way out of sight. For some of us it makes a change
to be on the other side of that kind of discrimination.
Since we have arrived and particularly since the radio show we have been
accepted as honoured guests in Louisburgh and the local people often stop to
talk about London and their own experiences of emigration. Mayo has been one
of the counties worst hit by emigration down the years.
Friday 3 September
Our last full day. A school of dolphins has arrived on the
coast of Mayo and reports of sightings are mostly around the Belmullet area
but we have seen them in Clew Bay on our daily swims. Maybe it's the legendary
therapeutic value of swimming with dolphins which is affecting the group but
something is certainly working. Everyone is looking and feeling so well, even
the workers. A bottle-nosed dolphin was washed up on the shore north of us and
for the last two days the local people and marine wildlife workers have been
trying to get her out to sea on the tide. But today she dies.
We make one last visit to Silver Strand. Like most of the week the day starts
cloudy and misty but clears up enough in the afternoon to get a few glimpses
of the sky and the odd shaft of sunlight. I finally decide to brave the water.
About ten of us strip down to our togs and plunge into the foam. It is freezing
at first but incredibly exhilerating. We spend half an-hour splashing about
and diving into the waves and I am raging with myself for resisting the thrill
for so long. The waves are high, powerful and hundreds of feet long and apart
from the occasional surfer, the beach is hardly used. Long may it remain that
way. If Ireland had sufficiently sunny weather, the west would be like the Costa
Del Sol and the Silver Strand would be littered with burger bars and beer bellys.
As it is, today only ours intrude on the beauty.
Pauline and Joe take a bus load on a round trip to drop off Kieran, who
is visiting his mother, and to Fermanagh where Pauline is visiting her uncle.
The journey will take them through nine different counties. Peter climbs Craagh
Patrick today, the only one of us to do so and he still has enough energy to
go to each cottage to help prepare our last meal in Mayo. We have fresh cod
and salmon. Tonight we go to the Bunowen to say farewell. Annette, who runs
the place single handedly, used to run a pub in Wimbledon before buying the
Bunowen. Tonight there are at least sixty or seventy people in the pub all calling
for drinks at once. She manages to keep everyone served and keep up a running
conversation without seeming at all hurried or flustered. She tells us that
the pub is up for sale - it's time to move on, although she is not sure where.
Eddie Moloney is playing guitar and singing country and Irish favaurites.
There are requests for Pauline to sing and she obliges. Unfortunately
Eddie insists on playing his drum machine with synthesised organ backing as
well as rock guitar riffs that blemish the moment. The local celebrity, Iron
Man, Irelands contender in the Worlds Strongest Man competition, agrees to sing
after much persuasion. Eddie curbs his rock star aspirations after a look from
Iron Man who proves to have a lovely light tenor voice. Hannah sings a Mayo
song and introduces it with a speech from Aisling thanking the local people
for their hospitality. We say our goodbyes and after a last bit of craic at
Mary's house we head for home and bed.
Saturday 4 September
We have to be ready to leave four of the cottages at 10.00am
so that they can be cleaned. The other two can be vacated at 12.00 so we are
up early and breakfasted. Peter is packing everything into boxes from the local
Spar shop where he has made friends with the owner. He has also struck up a
relationship with the local undertaker and has bought four bags of good quality
turf from him to bring home. The undertaker is a busy man at the moment with
a funeral yesterday of a 39 year old woman for which the whole town turned out,
including some of our own group, and another this evening. We are on the road
at 12.00 and we pick up Joe at Westport where he is visiting his brother for
the first time in over 30 years. At the monument in the Octagon in the centre
of town he is waiting with four generations of his family to see him off. As
we are talking, a nun dents the side of Joes nieces car, and tries to drive
off. It is settled amicably and Peter asks the nun for a loan of her habit to
take home to London.
On then to Ballyvary to pick up John who is still enjoying his homecoming.
As we wait for John to get ready Mary sneaks off into a pub where we find her
later flirting outrageously with a bar full of farmers. With the farmers all
encouraging her to stay, it takes another half hour before Mary can be persuaded
to get back on the bus. We arrive in Dublin around 5.00pm and arrange ourselves
into the same rooms at Emmaus House in Swords. We then head into Dublin for
a meal.
We decide to get fish and chips from the world famous Burdocks fish and
chip shop opposite Christchurch cathedral. Six of us order five fish and chip
suppers and five cokes. They are served up speedily and efficiently with barely
a raised eybrow and no hold up in the queue. We eat them around the corner where
the mini buses are parked opposite the Iveagh hostel, a pint sized Arlington
House where a few of the men have lived at various times. No-one has tasted
better fish and chips and we head back to Swords satisfied. On the way Bill
decides he wants to visit his sister in Clontarf to collect a bag he left there
20 years ago, when he disappeared off to London. We arrive in a very well-to-do
suburban street and Charlie and Pauline go with Bill to the door. Bills sister
appears after a little while and they go inside. Twenty minutes later they reappear
with Bills bag.
In the meantime we have treated the neighbours to a bit of gossip with
our two buses and thirty returned emigrants spilled out onto their street. On
the way back to Swords, Tom the photographer mentions how much Emmaus house
reminds him of the hotel in The Shining and how spooky the place makes him feel.
After we arrive and settle down in the communal room, Tom turns on the tv to
see the opening credits of The Shining rolling. Feeling a little disturbed,
a few of the workers decide to head into Dublin for an hour.
We head into the city to the Saturday night streets spilling over with
young people dressed up with somewhere to go. We head into Mulligans which used
to be my own Saturday night haunt when I lived in Dublin. The pace slows down
in Mulligans and time seems to stand still. I heard a few months back that they
had painted the place and yuppified it. I couldn't see any difference. Sean,
who I hadn't seen in years was still sitting at the bar in his usual spot. On
the way back to Swords we put on a tape and the first song is Shane McGowan
singing about a big sharp axe in Dirty Old Town. Too wierd to be scary, but
none of us sleep too well. Maybe the real reason is because we don't want to
leave. None of us, workers or returnees are looking forward to going back to
London, tomorrow, but at least many have made an important leap forward. The
demons long feared on returning home have not appeared. The only spirits are
benign ones, and we will return again before long.
Alex McDonnell, September 1999.
reports on other Aisling trips
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