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Swimming
with Dolphins...
- a report on the 1999 Aisling Trip
by Alex McDonnell
Alex McDonnell is a founder member of the Aisling Return
to Ireland Project. This year the project took 22 long-term emigrants
to Louisburgh in Co. Mayo for week long rehabilitative holiday. The migrants
were accompanied by eight support workers - from Bridge Housing Association,
The London Irish Centre, Brent Community Alcohol Service and Cricklewood
Homeless Concern.
Saturday 28 August
We leave Arlington House after the usual last minute
drop-outs and drop-ins causing some delay. Gerry is up at 7.00 am, surprisingly,
with his case packed and ready to go. Myself and Joe leave him on his
way to the toilet and continue around the house knocking up the last few
stragglers. By the time we make it downstairs to reception Gerry is gone.
Probably in search of an early off-licence. By eight o'clock we have looked
for him everywhere and are already late so Martin, who is hanging around
in the hope of a cancellation is given Gerry's seat on the bus and we
head up Camden Road for the Irish Centre. Joe and Peter follow behind
with the chuck wagon loaded up with food and supplies for the week.
On Murray street, outside the London Irish Centre, our little army
of returnees from Camden, Cricklewood and Kilburn, and helpers, is gathered
thirty strong. We are loaded up and on the road by 8.30am. Joe has news
of Gerry who he has met on the way. Gerry does not feel well enough for
the journey but he will phone us in Louisburgh to wish us all the best.
On the M 1 and M6 all goes well until Birmingham where we get tangled
up in Spaghetti iunction. There are further delays on the A5 M56 and A55
where bank holiday traiffic has slowed everything down to a crawl and
by 2.OOpm all three vehicles are spread out all over north Wales.
The ferry is at 3.45pm and we keep in nervous contact
over mobile phones. The bus I am in is Brent Community Transport's finest,
one half of a pair and named `Jerry', and we arrive first at the ferry
terminal at 3.30pm. Just as I hand the tickets over to the attendant a
phone rings in her booth. She listens and says a few words into the receiver,
then turns to me and says 'Sorry the gate has closed'. We have missed
the boat.
We park up and as we are going into the train terminal building
to change the tickets for the next sailin, I walk into two of the men
from Arlington House. How did they get to the station before me'? All
of the other passengers are behind me. What's going on'? And then I remember.
thev weren't on the bus with us at all. It turns out that they were in
Holyhead for a couple of davs holiday and are on their way back on the
boat-train. One of the men has always been known as `Holyhead Tommy' and
now I know why. The other mini-bus and the chuck wagon arrive in the next
few minutes and we all settle down to wait for the next sailing.
It is a beautiful day and no-one is too much bothered bv the delay.
Some have waited twenty, thirty, even forty vears to cross the Irish sea
and a few more hours won't do any harm. The next ferry is a fast service
and we make the crossing in under two hours, followed the whole way by
a huge orange harvest moon. We arrive at the Emmaus House just past the
fifth (!) roundabout for Swords on the NI1 north of Dublin. Andy and Peter,
two Oblates missionaries help us sort out the rooms for thirty nervous.
excited and tired returnees. We sleep soundly.
Sunday 29 August
Wake up rested and go down for breakfast. Everyone is
already up. The first thing I notice in the dining room is - no knives
and forks, so no cooked breakfast. Instead we eat loads of toast and bread
and marmalade. We won't have a chance to eat another meal until we arrive
in Louisburgh. I phone Ardal O'Hanlon, who is the patron of Aisling and
does lots of work to raise money for the project. He comes over from Blackrock
to meet us and spends some time with the returnees, chatting, answering
questions ( mostly about Father Ted) and having his photograph taken.
We arrange to meet up in London to organise next years funding. We talk
about ways of developing a permanent base in Ireland for Aisling where
long term emigrants can return more often, for longer periods or for good.
Ardal has to pick up his wife and two-day-old baby girl from the hospital
so we say our farewells and best wishes to his family and set off for
Mayo on the N5.
For many of the returnees the new roads are probably the most noticeable
changes in newly prosperous Ireland, as well as the new houses and buildings
going up all over the country. Most of the men have worked building the
motorways in England and the road to Mayo is a third of the width of the
M6 in England for most of the journey, but it is a pleasure to drive on,
with no hold ups or traffic jams, and small towns, mountains, fields and
lakes to look at. For those who have not been home for many years it is
a reminder of what they have been missing in all their city-bound days
in Kilburn and Camden Town.
We arrive in Louisburgh around 3.30pm. The town also looks prosperous
with newly tarmaced streets and newly painted houses, shops and pubs.
There are restaurants and other tourist friendly attractions. A lot of
this is due to the Louisburgh community council who built the Louisburgh
holiday cottages 20 years ago to bring tourists into the area and have
not looked back since. The town has continued to develop and expand. Two
new estates of houses are currently being built in the town. The downside
is that they are being bought as second and retirement homes by British
and European immigrants and Dubliners. Local people can't afford to live
in their own town. Figures were announced this week by the Irish government
that net immigration into Ireland was 40,000 for last year, a complete
reversal of the situation ten years ago when the same amount were arriving
in Britain during the eighties emigration boom.
We have six of the ten cottages on the site and swiftly organise
everyone into households. We have two womens houses, one dry house and
three assorted mens houses. Peter, our chef from Arlington House, prepared
a box for each house containing tea, coffee, milk, bread, sugar, breakfast
foods and other essentials, as well as an evening meal which just needs
to be heated up. Over the next few days Peter will go to each house with
fresh food and help organise meals for each evening and packed lunehes
for day trips. The houses are based on the local traditional farmhouse
with a kitchen/sitting room with an open fire, stone flagged floors and
a loft upstairs. They are attractive, functional and comfortable and we
won't want to leave when the time comes. According to guide books, a few
miles from the town is Silver Strand, the third finest beach in Europe
- but we can't find it, so John, a Mayo man from Ballina, who is an outreach
worker with homeless people in London, takes a group half a mile to the
nearest beach for a swim in the freezing cold Atlantic. A few brave souls
go in with him but most of us are happy to watch.
Later we go to town and, as it a Sunday, the locals were out in
force and the pubs are packed. There are five pubs in a row and there
is music in two of them and our group spreads out between the two. Pauline
from Antrim who works for Cricklewood Homeless Concern, is persuaded to
sing a few songs and after she does the whole pub stands up to roar their
approval.
Monday 30 August
We all sleep well again. This morning the various houses
organise their own breakfasts. We have no plans to go anywhere today as
we think everyone should have a chance to get settled in and relax a bit.
It has been a long couple of days so far and now we are here we may as
well enjoy the local scenery and get to know the place. We will tackle
Croagh Patrick another day.
Although we had been out late in the pub the night before no-one
seems to be feeling any serious ill effects this morning. This is our
sixth Aisling trip so far and many of the people we bring away with us
have a had an unfortunate relationship with alcohol over the years and
for some their homelessness may be related to their drinking. The street
drinking scene in London includes a large percentage of Irish people whose
health has been seriously affected by years of drinking super strength
beers or ciders. A lot of people who would have worked hard during the
day, drank in pubs in the evenings and enjoyed their social life, have
had their lives shattered in later years by their dependency on alcohol.
Aisling doesn't advocate abstinence but we present the returnees with
the alternative of a healthier lifestyle in their home country and ironically
that includes going to where Irish social life is centred, the pub. And
it works, already people are looking better and happier than they have
in years.
Even after one day we are now well known in Louisburgh. One of the local
shopkeepers gives Peter a box of biscuits for each of the houses, some
of our people are regulars in the pubs and when Bill is found wandering,
a bit lost, the locals contact Eleanor at the holiday cottage and we go
out to collect him. In the afternoon we go to Westport for a few hours
and stop on the way at the eerily beautiful famine memorial, in the form
of a coffin ship, at Murrisk in the shade of Croagh Patrick. John gives
us all an impromptu talk on the effects of the famine on the people of
the local area. Later, after dinner we go back down to Murrisk to see
the old abbey which was destroyed in the 16th century, stumbling around
in the ruins and having the craic in the moonlight. On the way back, we
stop off at the Bunowen Arms and Eamon reveals that this is the first
time he has been in a pub in two years although he has drank from cans
on the streets for years. After the pub a crowd of us end up in one of
the women's houses where Hannah makes tea and Mary keeps us in stitches
with her yarns and we tell stories and singbadly.
Tuesday 3lst August
Today most of the group drive off to Achill island.
I stay behind to organise a few things and write up this diary. So many
things that happen, or are said, seem unimportant at the time and they
may not be appreciated and so can be easily forgotten. I need to keep
up to date. I was thinking yesterday about our group and their relationship
with alcohol and the effects of alcohol on their behaviour. A lot of the
time our behaviour with alcohol will be so different to our sober behaviour
and we see lots of changes in peoples character when they stop or slow
down their drinking.
Not all of the group are problem drinkers and some are tee-total
but the drinkers tend to drink excessively when they are in London. We
have to be careful that the they don't withdraw too quickly and go into
seizures or fits. Charlie our nurse, makes sure she has a few cans in
her bag for such emergencies. Usually that would happen in the first day
or two but could occur up to five days later. So far, just about all of
the street/heavy drinkers who are with us are now drinking very little
compared to their normal intake and they are noticeably healthier and
more alert. If you were to say to any of the professional alcohol workers
in detox units and rehabs that such chronic drinkers were weaned off alcohol
more or less instantaneously without medication and with no ill effects,
they would not believe it. But it works in the context of Aisling and
I think that the supportive environment and open, non-authoritarian regime
helps. A few years ago on the first Aisling trip we visited a rehab place
in Limerick and were shocked at the strict authoritarianism and the spartan,
soulless conditions. People were going into that place for 2-3 months
of punishment and heading straight for the nearest pub or off licence
on the way out. The pub at the bottom of the lane did great business.
The Bunowen Arms which has become our local pub is doing great
business this week as well. Tonight Sean Hegarty is playing. John, our
driver/historian/spiritual guide was in one of the local shops earlier
today and overheard another customer and recognised the voice. It turned
out to be this man Sean Hegarty who John was at school with and had not
seen since they both sat the leaving cert 32 years ago, and he is playing
tonight in the pub. When our crowd is there the pub is half full; so tonight,
with the locals out in force it is packed. Late in the evening there is
an open microphone spot and another John from our party, who is home for
the first time in 35 years, gives a recitation about a horse called Finn
McCool that has the place jumping. We make friends with Tim and Marina,
a couple from Salisbury who, with Reilly their dog, are camping down at
the beach. They play a few tunes and we invite them down to our place.
By now, one of the women's houses has become the social centre
of the group which is mainly down to our `ban na tighe' Mary. Her constant
stream of stories, tea and good-natured abuse keeps the party rolling.
It's after five when we get to bed and we have another big day tomorrow.
Wednesday 1 September
Today we take a trip to Knock. As well as being the
scene of a famous apparition by Our Lady and an international airport,
Knock also has the distinction of being the home town of our very own
Mary. Mary was baptised and married in the small church at Knock, which
now stands in front of the monstrous basilica. Shortly after her wedding
to Tom in the church, Mary left, never to return. As she said herself,
`the Virgin Mary appeared at Knock and Tom and Mary disappeared at Knock'.
Mary's reappearance causes almost as much fuss as the original visitation
as she goes about town meeting old friends. Mary revealed later that she
was afraid of going back and was disturbed by the changes to the town,
but was glad that she had done so. It takes a lot of courage but she is
rewarded by the sure knowledge that she is loved and thought of with great
affection in the town.
Peter, who had not been in Ireland since 1959 - until an Aisling
trip a few years ago - now volunteers on the project and helps out by
keeping the mini-buses in spotless condition. Peter had some bad experiences
being brought up by nuns and brothers in institutions around Dublin, now
gets a small bit of revenge by poking fun at religion in his own funny
and gentle way. Today in Knock he is on fertile ground and shortly after
arriving meets a nun at one of the many religious souvenir shops. He tells
her that he would like to be a nun for the day and would she lend him
her habit, that he might get more respect dressed that way. He tries this
out on other priests and nuns in the town without any success.
This evening Ian and Tom, reporter and photographer from the Independent
newspaper in London arrive. They will be staying with us for the next
few days, putting together a story about the project and will be meeting
with the workers, volunteers and returnees.
Thursday 2 September
For the last week I have been in daily contact with
Gemma, a producer on the Pat Kenny show at RTE radio, organising an appearance
we will be making on the show this morning. Four of the group will be
on the show and I have been phoning in background details to help prepare
the programme from a phone in Louisburgh - our mobile phones don't work
in Ireland. The broadcast is from Dublin but our bit will be linked up
from the RTE studio in Castlebar from 10.30am and I need to ring again
to confirm the arrangements this morning. Billy will be meeting his sister
today who hasn't seen for many years. Last night he met an old friend
for the first time in over thirty years and word has got around that he
is back in Mayo and we wanted him on the show this morning, but he is
nervous about it. John who is visiting a friend in Ballyvarry for the
first time in 35 years will substitute for him, so we need to pick him
up on the way. Inevitably we are late getting going and the number I have
at RTE is engaged so we head off hoping to find a phone on the way. The
only phones we do pass are occupied or not working and when we arrive
in Castlebar we spend valuable minutes looking for the studio, as no-one
in Castlebar seems to know the address.
By the time we arrive at the studio, Gemma has phoned Mary the technician
several times in a panic. I ring her in Dublin at last and we quickly
organise everyone in rotation around two studio mics. John will go first
to give the background to Aisling and this years trip, followed by Joe
who is our chair and who will talk about his experiences as a returnee
with Aisling and his volunteering with the project since. Then Mary and
John will talk about their own experiences of this years trip, their time
in London and the changes in the country since they left. It goes very
well, Mary and John the returnees are particularly moving. The other John
sums up, appealing for recognition by the Irish at home for the contribution
made by the emigrant Irish to their homeland. He also asks for recognition
of those emigrants whose experience of emigration has not always been
positive and who would like to return home either for a break or to live.
Gemma in Dublin gives us names and contacts for people who have
called the studio for help with tracing relatives and with promises of
help for the project. One other less welcome call comes through to the
Castlebar studio from a man who at first seems to be offering us use of
some cottages in Roundstone. I am standing next to John as he takes the
call and we all get excited until it turns out the houses have no roofs
and he expects our people to repair them and that we can do a deal on
the price. Some people are always looking to cut a deal. When we get back
to the mini-bus John from Aisling's sister is waiting. She was passing
and thought that the bus must have something to do her brother. So, another
unexpected reunion
. After we get back to Louisburgh we decide to take a trip to Connemara.
We drive down through Leenane to Kylemore Abbey, past lakes and through
mountain passes, with mist rolling in and the low lying clouds breaking
across the mountains, casting moving shadows. It is the best kind of weather
for the west of Ireland. As we are coming back we go searching for the
Silver Strand and find it at the bottom of an overgrown borreen, the most
amazing stretch of beach with high rolling waves coming in at split second
intervals. The light across the bay is astonishing and constantly changing.
We pull off our shoes and socks and run for the water. Tom, the Independent
photographer is stunned and reaches for his camera. He has his picture
for the paper.
That evening we have a visit from a couple from Westport. A relative went
missing some years ago and seems to have disappeared off the face of the
earth. From the description of one of our men seen in Louisburgh, he could
fit the bill. Our man's background is known to us but we offer to have
his photograph and details circulated in London around the homeless projects.
Dearbhla from the London Irish centre is meeting her parents who
are down from Lietrim for the night. A nun from the local area working
in Uganda is having a benefit dance in the town and so we all go along
to give our support. During the evening the doors of the pub are locked
and some of us are stuck outside. We knock on the door to get back in
but the barman refuses until the town drunk has weaved his way out of
sight. For some of us it makes a change to be on the other side of that
kind of discrimination.
Since we have arrived and particularly since the radio show we
have been accepted as honoured guests in Louisburgh and the local people
often stop to talk about London and their own experiences of emigration.
Mayo has been one of the counties worst hit by emigration down the years.
Friday 3 September
Our last full day. A school of dolphins has arrived
on the coast of Mayo and reports of sightings are mostly around the Belmullet
area but we have seen them in Clew Bay on our daily swims. Maybe it's
the legendary therapeutic value of swimming with dolphins which is affecting
the group but something is certainly working. Everyone is looking and
feeling so well, even the workers. A bottle-nosed dolphin was washed up
on the shore north of us and for the last two days the local people and
marine wildlife workers have been trying to get her out to sea on the
tide. But today she dies.
We make one last visit to Silver Strand. Like most of the week the day
starts cloudy and misty but clears up enough in the afternoon to get a
few glimpses of the sky and the odd shaft of sunlight. I finally decide
to brave the water. About ten of us strip down to our togs and plunge
into the foam. It is freezing at first but incredibly exhilerating. We
spend half an-hour splashing about and diving into the waves and I am
raging with myself for resisting the thrill for so long. The waves are
high, powerful and hundreds of feet long and apart from the occasional
surfer, the beach is hardly used. Long may it remain that way. If Ireland
had sufficiently sunny weather, the west would be like the Costa Del Sol
and the Silver Strand would be littered with burger bars and beer bellys.
As it is, today only ours intrude on the beauty.
Pauline and Joe take a bus load on a round trip to drop off Kieran,
who is visiting his mother, and to Fermanagh where Pauline is visiting
her uncle. The journey will take them through nine different counties.
Peter climbs Craagh Patrick today, the only one of us to do so and he
still has enough energy to go to each cottage to help prepare our last
meal in Mayo. We have fresh cod and salmon. Tonight we go to the Bunowen
to say farewell. Annette, who runs the place single handedly, used to
run a pub in Wimbledon before buying the Bunowen. Tonight there are at
least sixty or seventy people in the pub all calling for drinks at once.
She manages to keep everyone served and keep up a running conversation
without seeming at all hurried or flustered. She tells us that the pub
is up for sale - it's time to move on, although she is not sure where.
Eddie Moloney is playing guitar and singing country and Irish favaurites.
There are requests for Pauline to sing and she obliges. Unfortunately
Eddie insists on playing his drum machine with synthesised organ backing
as well as rock guitar riffs that blemish the moment. The local celebrity,
Iron Man, Irelands contender in the Worlds Strongest Man competition,
agrees to sing after much persuasion. Eddie curbs his rock star aspirations
after a look from Iron Man who proves to have a lovely light tenor voice.
Hannah sings a Mayo song and introduces it with a speech from Aisling
thanking the local people for their hospitality. We say our goodbyes and
after a last bit of craic at Mary's house we head for home and bed.
Saturday 4 September
We have to be ready to leave four of the cottages at
10.00am so that they can be cleaned. The other two can be vacated at 12.00
so we are up early and breakfasted. Peter is packing everything into boxes
from the local Spar shop where he has made friends with the owner. He
has also struck up a relationship with the local undertaker and has bought
four bags of good quality turf from him to bring home. The undertaker
is a busy man at the moment with a funeral yesterday of a 39 year old
woman for which the whole town turned out, including some of our own group,
and another this evening. We are on the road at 12.00 and we pick up Joe
at Westport where he is visiting his brother for the first time in over
30 years. At the monument in the Octagon in the centre of town he is waiting
with four generations of his family to see him off. As we are talking,
a nun dents the side of Joes nieces car, and tries to drive off. It is
settled amicably and Peter asks the nun for a loan of her habit to take
home to London.
On then to Ballyvary to pick up John who is still enjoying his
homecoming. As we wait for John to get ready Mary sneaks off into a pub
where we find her later flirting outrageously with a bar full of farmers.
With the farmers all encouraging her to stay, it takes another half hour
before Mary can be persuaded to get back on the bus. We arrive in Dublin
around 5.00pm and arrange ourselves into the same rooms at Emmaus House
in Swords. We then head into Dublin for a meal.
We decide to get fish and chips from the world famous Burdocks
fish and chip shop opposite Christchurch cathedral. Six of us order five
fish and chip suppers and five cokes. They are served up speedily and
efficiently with barely a raised eybrow and no hold up in the queue. We
eat them around the corner where the mini buses are parked opposite the
Iveagh hostel, a pint sized Arlington House where a few of the men have
lived at various times. No-one has tasted better fish and chips and we
head back to Swords satisfied. On the way Bill decides he wants to visit
his sister in Clontarf to collect a bag he left there 20 years ago, when
he disappeared off to London. We arrive in a very well-to-do suburban
street and Charlie and Pauline go with Bill to the door. Bills sister
appears after a little while and they go inside. Twenty minutes later
they reappear with Bills bag.
In the meantime we have treated the neighbours to a bit of gossip
with our two buses and thirty returned emigrants spilled out onto their
street. On the way back to Swords, Tom the photographer mentions how much
Emmaus house reminds him of the hotel in The Shining and how spooky the
place makes him feel. After we arrive and settle down in the communal
room, Tom turns on the tv to see the opening credits of The Shining rolling.
Feeling a little disturbed, a few of the workers decide to head into Dublin
for an hour.
We head into the city to the Saturday night streets spilling over
with young people dressed up with somewhere to go. We head into Mulligans
which used to be my own Saturday night haunt when I lived in Dublin. The
pace slows down in Mulligans and time seems to stand still. I heard a
few months back that they had painted the place and yuppified it. I couldn't
see any difference. Sean, who I hadn't seen in years was still sitting
at the bar in his usual spot. On the way back to Swords we put on a tape
and the first song is Shane McGowan singing about a big sharp axe in Dirty
Old Town. Too wierd to be scary, but none of us sleep too well. Maybe
the real reason is because we don't want to leave. None of us, workers
or returnees are looking forward to going back to London, tomorrow, but
at least many have made an important leap forward. The demons long feared
on returning home have not appeared. The only spirits are benign ones,
and we will return again before long.
Alex McDonnell, September 1999.
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